The kids and I ventured to Target today while Matt went to a service project. The kids were very good for the most part. We shopped for 2 hours before Zach had a meltdown because I wouldn't let him open the bathroom door because it was a heavy door and we would have waited a long time before he would give in and let someone else open it. Since Zoe and Eleanor were waiting by the cart on the other side of the door, I opted for the tantrum and Zach didn't disappoint. He screamed and continued to scream while I put him in the cart. A lady nearby was watching and had to make the comment that I sure had my hands full. After 2 hours of shopping, making a bathroom stop which included keeping Kate away from the toilet paper, and listening to Zach scream, which gets on my nerves even when I'm not tired from shopping, I just glared at the woman and walked away. I just didn't have it in me at that point to smile and nod and agree. Zach was an angel as a 2 year old, but he is proving to be a challenging 3 year old as he wants to do everything by himself and if he doesn't get his own way, the screaming begins, and I must admit that it doesn't stop until I give in to him. I know, I know, I should ignore his screaming and he'll learn that the screaming will not produce the results he wants, but the screaming DRIVES ME NUTS! So I am willing to get out of the car after shutting Zach's door to stand in the pouring rain after opening the door, so Zach can shut it. I also did that because after buckling Zach in his seat, after shutting the door that he wanted to shut, which I didn't realize at the time, Zach unbuckled himself and of course he was screaming. I am trying to avoid these tantrums by making sure Zach gets the opportunity to do things himself when he wants to, but he is painfully slow and it takes so much longer for him to do things, but we do get along better when I am patient and wait for him to complete the task or wait for him to realize he needs help. So anyway, back to Target. Zoe tells Zach that he can open the door before we leave and he quiets down. The only thing left on my list to pick up are light bulbs, so I find someone to ask where they are, and we go get them...on the other side of the store. On the way back to the check-out area, we pass the guy who told us where to find the light bulbs and Eleanor thanks him for helping us find our way. It was so cute, but the guy didn't hear her. Remember the lady who witnessed Zach's tantrum? Well, she was behind us as we approached the check-out and she told Zach that she knew he could smile because he was now happy and she smiled at Zach and then at me. I smiled at her and was thankful that she didn't hold a grudge from my earlier glare. If she would have commented about my hands being full at that point, I would have smiled, nodded, and agreed.
I haven't mentioned the fact that halfway through our shopping trip, we grab a bunch of boxes of fruit snacks and Kate is determined to open a box and help herself. I'm realizing now that I should have opened a box and let her hold a package of fruit snacks since she doesn't know how to open it, but instead I got her out of the cart and put Zoe in charge of following Kate around. This worked for awhile and then I held Kate while Zoe pushed the cart, which was full and heavy, but she did a good job. The kids had fun spending their money on this shopping trip. Eleanor picked up 7 fun things at the $1 spot, Emily bought a new nintendo game, a butterfly necklace, and a diary, and Zoe bought a bag to hold her nintendo and games, and she bought a pair of earrings, and Zach bought a water bottle. Eleanor just loved the fact that every time she found something she liked at the $1 spot, I told her she could get it. It's definitely more fun to go shopping when you have lots of money to spend!
So what do you do after a 2 1/2 hour shopping trip and getting everyone and everything into the car in the pouring rain? Go home? Not this starved, pregnant mama. We head to Pizza Hut for lunch. My original plan was to pick up pizzas after our shopping adventure and eat pizza at home, but by this time I was hungry and we would have to wait in the car for our order to be done, so eating in seemed like the best thing to do. Because taking it home would mean waiting, getting everyone and everything in the house, and getting everyone seated at the table with plates, cups, napkins, and I just couldn't wait that long to eat. The kids were excited when they found out we were eating at the restaurant and we ventured in. We looked like drowned rats, but I was too hungry to care. We got a nice round table that fit us perfectly. People stared at the wet, very pregnant mom getting her 5 children seated and settled in. And after I sat down, the panic set in. What was I doing? What if Zach had another meltdown, what if someone needs to go to the bathroom? There's 1 of me and 5 of them! Oh well, we're here and we're not leaving. And as it turns out, everyone was on their best behavior and we had a nice time. Kate decided to soak herself with her water, but she was already wet and that was better than having her scream because I wouldn't let her drink her water by herself. And Zach had fun using his fork and butter knife, they kept him happy, no screaming. :-) Zoe was concerned about the mess Kate was making and every time Eleanor spoke (who is naturally loud), Zoe would tell her to be quiet. It's good that Zoe has learned that we should have good manners when we're in a restaurant.
After we got home and Matt was home, I went to the grocery store, alone. What a difference that is!
4 comments:
I get that "you sure have your hands full" comment from EVERYONE when I take the girls out anywhere. And Feisty does the exact same thing as Zach - Kristen does the same as you - does a rewind so that she can do what her little OCD personality requires to make her happy!
I can't imagine how exchausted you must have been after shopping for two hours, pregnant, with all the kids. The trip to the grocery store must have seemed like a little vacation!
Wow, that doesn't sound fun (the trip to Target). I understand about just trying to keep the peace. I don't always do or say what I know I should either as a mom... it is so hard when you are in the middle of it! you are a great, patient mom. I'm sure the kids thought it was a great day!!
Im really impressed that you can handle 5 kids. i get stressed out with just my two. I think it should be called the terrible threes. Ryan was so good up until he hit his third birthday and its been all down hill from there!
I admire your patience and I think eventually it will pay off letting them do things for themselves (even though it can be extremely frustrating!). My 3rd child is so independent and wouldn't let me help her with anything. When she was about four she was putting some pants on and started to lose her balance. I reached out to steady her and she said, "No Mom. I can do it myself." But she is so independent and responsible now.
One of my favorite books is "Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley". One of my favorite parts is this:
"My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children. One is that you have to trust children. I tried hard never to say "no" if I could possibly say "yes." I think that worked well becaue it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could."
I don't think it's a matter of giving in (for the most part) when Zach wants to do things himself. It's helping him to learn to be responsible on his own and giving him that feeling of trust.
Hang in there pregnant mommy!
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