Sunday, June 01, 2008

Ugh

I hesitate to write because I'm hot, tired, and on the verge of tears. It has been a hard afternoon/evening with much crying from Zach and Kate, and Matt and I have not followed the counsel of "slow to anger" as well as we should. My thought right now is that this new baby has got to be mellow because listening to 3 children cry and scream is going to put me over the edge. Matt now has Emily's cold, I don't think I have mentioned Emily's cold, but she has had one for several days now and she stayed home from school on Friday because of it. It was one of those sick days where she had lots of energy and was acting well about an hour after school started and I was tempted to bring her in, but then I figured a day at home wouldn't kill her or me.
You know, writing is very therapeutic because I am feeling better now. And have you noticed that lately I seem to just write what is on my mind and go from one thought to the next? Does it drive you nuts? I always loved "free-write" time in English classes when we were supposed to write for 5 minutes non-stop about whatever came to mind. I must admit that I would skip over thoughts that I didn't want to express on paper and I do the same here, but I think it's fun to just write what comes to mind. It's fun to write this way, but it might be annoying to read.

The day started off well. We made it to church on time, our testimony meeting was very uplifting, the kids and I made it through the entire Sacrament meeting without leaving the chapel, Primary went well with all of the teachers/sub there, the kids were pretty mellow today, and my Sharing Time was a huge success. And then we came home. I fed the kids, cleaned up the kitchen, started making chicken fajitas for Matt and Myself to eat, sat down to eat and listened to Zach cry because he wanted to sit in my lap and listened to Kate cry because we were eating and she wasn't! I settled them down with goldfish to snack on and finished eating. Then I cleaned the table for round 2 of eating for the kids. They each had a treat and then were banned from the kitchen until 5pm, only an hour away...where did the afternoon go? The hour went quick and well, it's time to eat again. Zach insists on an orange, but he wants it like it is with the peeling on, at least that's what I think he wants. I insist on peeling it and I give 3 pieces to Zach, 3 pieces to Zoe, and 3 pieces to Kate since they all want an orange and there is only one left. Zach doesn't want his orange separated into three pieces and he goes into meltdown mode. Kate finishes her 3 pieces and then notices that Zach hasn't eaten his and she wants them, so she starts to cry. After listening to Zach and Kate cry for awhile I decide it is better to make Kate happy and only listen to Zach cry, so I give Kate Zach's orange pieces. I pick Zach up who is trying to get his oranges back and hit Kate, and tossed him into Zoe's chair. Kate stopped crying as I figured she would and now only Zach was left screaming. The rest of the evening just went downhill from there. I'm wondering if I should have given Zach the orange the way he wanted it and let him figure it out. Would the world end if he bit into the orange peel? No. I'm still an amateur here with Zach's temper and ways. I'm figuring out which battles are worth fighting. You would think I would have it figured out after so many kids, but I don't. Everyday and every child is different and a new experience.

3 comments:

Kris said...

You are doing great. You are such a good mom and (luckily for me, I've found) children are so forgiving of parents' mistakes... little children anyway. I think Sundays can be hard & tiring! and I'm not pregnant with my 6th child... Zach will grow out of this hard stage, hopefully before Taco Bill arrives!

Dawn said...

It must be very difficult to face the crying when you are so close to the end of the pregnancy - the energy level probably isn't the highest! Sounds like it settled down a bit. Zach is going through a rough time right now, it seems.

Gabriela said...

You seem like you are super patient to me-you so rarely write about stuff like this. I could write about this stuff everyday!!! My two boys have me almost in tears more often than I'd like to admitt.

you are doing great! Hang in there.